Do you create a New Years Resolutions list each year in the hopes of changing the things that don’t resonate anymore? I’m here to say hold on! 2023 can be your quantum leap.
Creating a place of authenticity means investing in yourself. Reconnecting to your abilities, responsibilities and believing in yourself starts with answering the following questions created by Kerry k.
Question #1 “Where am I neglecting myself?”
Often the answer to this question is not obvious. By sitting and connecting to your feelings, and I don’t mean analyzing yourself, just allow your feelings to rise as you ask this question. When did your over investment in others over take your priority to yourself? You can not give to others what you yourself do not have within. Others will create priority for their own needs if you allow them. Yes, I know we all have people who depend upon us but there has to be a balance. When you start to question where others put you on their priority list, you begin to awaken from the dream. Others can not give to you anything you have not given to yourself. When we ask others to give you quality time, to focus on your relationship or pay attention to your needs, you lose sight of who really comes first. YOU come first, so prioritize yourself.
Question #2 “Am I learning to validate what I cannot see?”
So many of us have been gas lighted by our family, friends or acquaintances who are mostly trying to compete with us. Many of us having non validating conversations, superficial relationships with me-centered beings. Their truths being thrown at us to be absorbed as our own. Holding your truth and validating your own feelings and experiences should never be compromised. Use your discernment and intuition and allow your heart to lead you. You will never be led astray.
Question #3 “Can you be true to yourself?”
In the traditional sense boundaries can be limiting and inhibiting, sometimes placing a wall between you and those in your life. Although using a higher version of self-honor with integrity, you can create healthy boundaries. Behaviors seen in others that you do not like, often gets you to thinking “am I not honoring myself?” Make your life about you’re own behavior. By self-honoring, your issuing a decree that says you will be treated by a better, expanded standard. By having this attitude and taking personal responsibility for yourself, this will create a huge catalyst for personal growth.
Question #4 “Have I practiced saying NO to others?”
Saying NO is a standard not a boundary. You can not do more for others then you do for yourself. When you say no to others do so with a higher frequency of love. Say it in a way that does not shut them off or shut them out. Do so without bias, prejudice or alienating them. Say No without shutting yourself down! Say I need, promised, scheduled etc….. right now, and can not be available, do this, or take care of that…… for you. Growing up means letting your YES be YES and your NO be NO.
Question #5 “Can you say YES to yourself?”
This is a technique that requires receptivity and connection to self. You can only say yes to yourself first before expecting others to say yes to you. Invest in yourself so you can give to others in the world. Today that might look like healing, recovery, silence, and time to sit & read. Tomorrow it might be an interlude with abundance. Your needs are not stationary they require an action and being in a mind set of receptivity. Your needs require a connection to yourself and an agreement to invest in YOU. It’s ok now to ask yourself what the hell are my needs?
Question #6 “Am I able to recognize the difference between Love and Self-compromise?”
The words love and self compromise are different and have different meanings but in relationships they look the same. Most of the time you don’t see self-compromise until you feel rotten, bitter, miserable, depleted and fatigued. When you realize that your energy has been sucked out of you and the only people standing around looking back at you are your loved ones. Addressing this question requires you to look back and see where you self-compromised yourself in the past. Did you see it coming then? Follow the pattern forward. Do you see it now? Self -Love needs to come before Love because it is the foundation or pillar of who you are. Your being has to be filled with love in order for you to share it with others. Then it is your responsibility, not others, for filling your cup up and over flowing. Self love is an action you perform to invest in your own life!
Question #7 “Who am I sacrificing myself for?”
Lastly, this is where we meet the martyr within. Who in your life are you giving away your free time, love and energy to? Did they specifically ask you to do all those things for them? Did your self sacrifice serve them, uplift them or benefit them? I’m here to let you in on a dirty little truth we rarely talk about. “No one benefits from self sacrifice”. You do not benefit nor do others; in fact, you are depriving them of their own self growth. Balance is needed here, if not, you will become bitter, resentful, and fatigued emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. You staying small serves no one!
It’s time for you to validate yourself and get into a commitment with yourself. When you self monitor you become;
The highest version of you and you serve the most people
The wisest version of you and you have the greatest wisdom to give
The most loving version of you and you can love the most people
The most abundant version of you and you can give the most!
Start 2023 with openness and a commitment to yourself so that the path ahead of you is paved with great intentions for living your best life!
Happy New Years Tribe