The month of December has flown by and I now find myself a few days before Christmas wrapping up the year-end responsibilities, sending cash gifts, and recuperating from two mini vacations this month. (Nicaragua & Boca Chica)
Our neighbours have decorated outside of their homes as well as storefronts. Panama is vibrant with their colorful, cultural traditions. We have felt little of all the commercialism found in North America. In fact, we have no decorations or tree this year. We have attended a local Christmas party and even met new friends. Christ’s blessing to us!
Christmas is different here in Panama but it’s also similar. It’s very family oriented and it is celebrated with music, food and community. School children are off now for three months at this time of year due to it being harvest time. Panamanian children are required to march in all local parades which are vibrant in cultural dress and traditions. Music played with instruments and drums are heard for months prior to the Christmas season as schools rehearse their songs. In the town of Boquete near us, there were 57 parade bands over the weekend. Fireworks are another favourite celebration tool.
For those of us who chose a life-changing move to Panama, we are met with warmer weather, a slower pace, and a more purposeful life. While our families and friends gather in cold weather around fireplaces, which I do miss, or inside their homes, in Panama, you will find outside palm trees glowing with lights, warm tropical nights, and Latin Christmas music everywhere. It is the same Christian belief celebrated here, more religious than commercial.
As 2025 ends in a new year begins, I would like to remind you that life is an adventure, family isn’t always biological, and happiness begins with finding joy each day in all the little things that make you smile. 
Merry Christmas & happy new year to my family, friends, and most importantly, the teetering on the edge Tribe!
Do you create a New Years Resolutions list each year in the hopes of changing the things that don’t resonate anymore? I’m here to say hold on! 2023 can be your quantum leap.
Creating a place of authenticity means investing in yourself. Reconnecting to your abilities, responsibilities and believing in yourself starts with answering the following questions created by Kerry k.
Question #1 “Where am I neglecting myself?”
Often the answer to this question is not obvious. By sitting and connecting to your feelings, and I don’t mean analyzing yourself, just allow your feelings to rise as you ask this question. When did your over investment in others over take your priority to yourself? You can not give to others what you yourself do not have within. Others will create priority for their own needs if you allow them. Yes, I know we all have people who depend upon us but there has to be a balance. When you start to question where others put you on their priority list, you begin to awaken from the dream. Others can not give to you anything you have not given to yourself. When we ask others to give you quality time, to focus on your relationship or pay attention to your needs, you lose sight of who really comes first. YOU come first, so prioritize yourself.
Question #2 “Am I learning to validate what I cannot see?”
So many of us have been gas lighted by our family, friends or acquaintances who are mostly trying to compete with us. Many of us having non validating conversations, superficial relationships with me-centered beings. Their truths being thrown at us to be absorbed as our own. Holding your truth and validating your own feelings and experiences should never be compromised. Use your discernment and intuition and allow your heart to lead you. You will never be led astray.
Question #3 “Can you be true to yourself?”
In the traditional sense boundaries can be limiting and inhibiting, sometimes placing a wall between you and those in your life. Although using a higher version of self-honor with integrity, you can create healthy boundaries. Behaviors seen in others that you do not like, often gets you to thinking “am I not honoring myself?” Make your life about you’re own behavior. By self-honoring, your issuing a decree that says you will be treated by a better, expanded standard. By having this attitude and taking personal responsibility for yourself, this will create a huge catalyst for personal growth.
Question #4 “Have I practiced saying NO to others?”
Saying NO is a standard not a boundary. You can not do more for others then you do for yourself. When you say no to others do so with a higher frequency of love. Say it in a way that does not shut them off or shut them out. Do so without bias, prejudice or alienating them. Say No without shutting yourself down! Say I need, promised, scheduled etc….. right now, and can not be available, do this, or take care of that…… for you. Growing up means letting your YES beYES and your NO be NO.
Question #5 “Can you say YES to yourself?”
This is a technique that requires receptivity and connection to self. You can only say yes to yourself first before expecting others to say yes to you. Invest in yourself so you can give to others in the world. Today that might look like healing, recovery, silence, and time to sit & read. Tomorrow it might be an interlude with abundance. Your needs are not stationary they require an action and being in a mind set of receptivity. Your needs require a connection to yourself and an agreement to invest in YOU. It’s ok now to ask yourself what the hell are my needs?
Question #6 “Am I able to recognize the difference between Love and Self-compromise?”
The words love and self compromise are different and have different meanings but in relationships they look the same. Most of the time you don’t see self-compromise until you feel rotten, bitter, miserable, depleted and fatigued. When you realize that your energy has been sucked out of you and the only people standing around looking back at you are your loved ones. Addressing this question requires you to look back and see where you self-compromised yourself in the past. Did you see it coming then? Follow the pattern forward. Do you see it now? Self -Love needs to come before Love because it is the foundation or pillar of who you are. Your being has to be filled with love in order for you to share it with others. Then it is your responsibility, not others, for filling your cup up and over flowing. Self love is an action you perform to invest in your own life!
Question #7 “Who am I sacrificing myself for?”
Lastly, this is where we meet the martyr within. Who in your life are you giving away your free time, love and energy to? Did they specifically ask you to do all those things for them? Did your self sacrifice serve them, uplift them or benefit them? I’m here to let you in on a dirty little truth we rarely talk about. “No one benefits from self sacrifice”. You do not benefit nor do others; in fact, you are depriving them of their own self growth. Balance is needed here, if not, you will become bitter, resentful, and fatigued emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. You staying small serves no one!
It’s time for you to validate yourself and get into a commitment with yourself. When you self monitor you become;
The highest version of you and you serve the most people
The wisest version of you and you have the greatest wisdom to give
The most loving version of you and you can love the most people
The most abundant version of you and you can give the most!
Start 2023 with openness and a commitment to yourself so that the path ahead of you is paved with great intentions for living your best life!
It’s all about energy, frequency and vibrations. Nikola Tesla already proved that. Can you feel it moving within you, within your life? Something changed in the world last night. For two hours I lay awake wondering what had happened. It felt like something clicked on against humanity. I wasn’t afraid, it just didn’t feel right. Not knowing what to do I did what I do best. I fight back. I reached into my tool bad of spiritual help and began to put on the full armor of God. Once applied I called on the name of Jesus to relinquish all that was not of my mission, my ascension, my journey. Immediately it was gone and I was able to fall back into a deep restful sleep. Has this ever happened to you? Have you been awakened in the night feeling like an energy change has occurred?
We all have different belief systems and life experiences but I am guessing you do have someone on your speed dial for spiritual help. We are all warriors fighting the good fight. We all stand together between a spiritual battle in the heavenly realms by powers, principalities, and forces that are unknown to us. Does the fact we cannot see them make them any less real? Like spirit we can see them moving through others who bend to their manipulations and cave into the control. Humans acting unjustly, unlovingly, unfair and unkind. Forces that entice separatism, racism, power over others and greed. Slowly killing each other for whose sake? Humanity is caught in a battle struggling to survive. Some of us feeling defeated giving in and others of us standing up in resistance. “You are not alone; we will not be defeated!”
I believe my spirit last night was telling me to arise to grab my spiritual bag of tools and lock n load for humanity. I was also being told to wake up my brothers and sisters along the way because it is time. It is time to work synergetically to create more mastery within ourselves so that we can fight for what is right & true. We do not have all the answers but we have each other. If we seek that which binds us together in unity, we will be able to have an impact on humanity. Afterall we are all teachers, healers and guides. Our mission is to reach as many as possible to awaken from the dream.
The question we need to address is “What unites us?” Is it our humanity that unites us because we have not done a great job taking care of each other? Is it our planet? Well, the same can be said for that! Is it our sense of community and wanting a better world for our families and friends? Still others ask is it our divinity, our DNA, our ability to react emotionally during crisis? I believe once we truly understand who we are, how we were made, and what we are capable of, then and only then, we will move forward as a species. Understanding our divinity is the psycho-spiritual connection to our consciousness that is needed to awaken the god within. Every religion believes humanity is connected to a creator God and we are called children of God, light sources and other names. What happens when the children grow up?What you believe directly affects your life! Your thoughts directly affect your actions. Self-actualization happens when you disconnect the EGO which is centered on selfishness, greed and power and connect to the world around you in service to something other than yourself. It is our ability to love the EGO into submission that Christ gave us an example of. My advice is to get connected to a group, organization or service that you feel passionate about. If you’re an artist get connected to that modality and share it with the world. Don’t just sit there and tell everyone what you think they should do, get out there and Do Something too!
How is it then we can be better teachers, healers and guides? It is by showing love, kindness, sympathy and compassion to all those we meet each day. Every person you meet is your mission! We are being called to go within ourselves, getting rid of all that does not serve us and re-establishing a new self, based on service.
Going within starts with what you have hanging in your spiritual closet. Any bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness hanging around? It is only to our advantage to forgive those close to us as well as those we only hear about. Whether it is a hurt feeling or a crime against humanity it starts with forgiveness and then moves forward to establish a system of fair communication and transparency.
By working in collaboration, we can accomplish miracles, move mountains and do whatever we set our minds to. Faith is the glue. Faith in ourselves as creator beings, faith in each other as divine souls and faith in the creator who wants only the best for his/her creation.
Meditation
Rumi talks about the 3 levels of awakening
Visualize yourself as a drop going into the ocean, because you are divine and a part of everything around you
Then once within you are now a part of the ocean, you are now expressing through form
Now visualize the entire ocean as it enters into your drop, you are in the spirit of oneness
Here I sit at my computer thinking of all the things I have on the go. March has come upon us fast and April is springing forward like “tigger” on steroids! I started my book club back up and we are on month #3, I have started a Patreon page to help me bring forth my Soul Coaching Business, my articles, my poetry and my Art. You can find me at Patreon.com/soul expression writing. I am still editing my second book of poems, and working on three other books. “The Courtship of Gwendolyn Eve” a romantic memoir of my in-laws while they were courting in 1947/48, my second book is “A Generational glance at Anxiety” It’s effect on families throughout 3 generations, and lastly “Re-Inventing Retirement, how “zoomers” plan for the future since 60 is the new 40. It used to be called Boomers but now that we are healthy, wealthy, wise and living longer, we need a different blueprint to align ourselves with.
If that isn’t enough I started painting again, a lost love of mine. I have been following 5 different artists online trying different types of painting from abstract to modern art, still life to impressionism. I may begin to draw nudes again too, anyone willing to model? Mom?
What I have found since all these lockdowns is that for an extrovert I am equally happy as a forced introvert. Maybe its my 8 octopus hands and their twitching for something to do but I like my own company. Not to say I don’t like yours, there are days I am wound up frustrated like a wolf in prison on a full moon night! but I have accomplished to take my own advice, I have tried Yoga, meditation, writing, listening to relaxing music, cooking, reading, and oh yah drinking wine. How has it been for all of you? Leave a comment if you would like me to talk about something you enjoyed or struggled with. Just ask me not to post it and I will keep it totally confidential.
On March 21st 2021 our daughter is having a zoom baby shower and we are excited about that. She had a hard time conceiving and she is the last of our 4 children to be a parent. It’s a GIRL but the name will be revealed soon!
As we teeter on the edge of another New Year, Covid restrictions, masks, and not being free to fly without quarantining or getting a vaccination, let us look within, calm the unsettled parts and put our faith in our ability to create a world where we are all free! where laughter can be heard, hugs rule and smiling faces shows us how much we were missed.
TEETERING ON THE EDGE 